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Monday, November 28, 2016

Friendship Are You a True or False Friend

For me, the most valuable thing I have to give someone is my friendship. It is true and tested, it is not
given and taken lightly, and it is there for as long as anyone wants it.

Over the last couple of years I have become more aware of friendships that went very deep and the ones that were only there for the sake of "what can I get from this" experience. These were the friendship that were only for a reason or a season.

Anyone who has worked with me over the years is well aware of my philosophy in relationship building. It is not something that happens overnight and it comes with giving before getting. A true relationship, whether business or personal, starts from a giving space rather than a taking one. I believe by giving, in return you will receive.

This not necessarily common to all from my experiences though. I have been very disappointed and hurt when friends that I perceived as close and dear to me, disintegrated as a result of lack of good communication and perception.

I recognize that all relationships come in for a reason, a season or a lifetime. For me, I endeavor to make them a lifetime, and always leave the door open if the other wishes to return. This does not make it any easier when the time comes to an end for whatever another's reason, as obviously for them, their purpose of the relationship/friendship is no longer, thus the status change.

The reason for an encounter with someone may be just to teach a lesson and a once only experience. A season may be for a time from weeks, months or a few years, whereas a lifetime is a friendship that endures all, and is not broken by experiences. A lifetime friendship has no rules or expectations.

My friendships are the most important part of my life and to be betrayed goes very deep when it happens with someone I have held very dear. I love my friends, on many levels, for who they are and what they bring to my world. I appreciate and am grateful for the opportunities they give me personally to learn and grow. I do not let a relationship end easily and it is always the others option.

The new way of friendship building today via social media and texting has some very good advantages along with some disastrous repercussions owing to the lack of an ability to express oneself other than in black and white. Relationships need to have 'grey' in them and expression through feelings, facial features and body language, all of which are taken away with this new form of communication. No 

wonder we have so many challenges in this area, and I do speak from personal experience here.
When a relationship goes to a deeper friendship, there can be a fine line on where it goes and understanding is necessary. I take people as they portray themselves to me, which is probably gullible at times and has maybe been foolish, but unless I feel and have a reason not to go there, my door is always open.

I ponder on the ability of some to close the door so very easily, with no concept of what is left behind. I wonder how different my life would have been if I was more discerning in whom I let into it so easily?

The leanings via these mediums for me have been enormous. Although heartbreaking at times I have been left with a feeling of great loss as a result of one or more lives I can no longer impact for all our growth.

As a lover of people, what others offer me for growth has always been a fascination. We all have very different models of experience, eg our beliefs and values, which come into play. We can either increase our awareness of others and our own self-awareness by opening our peripheral vision to see things from another's point of view, whilst looking deeper at our own internal map of the world and sees where there is a mus-fit.

As a friend, where do you stand? Are you a true or a false friend? I suggest that you consider the friendships you have now and how they fit into your world.

What is your expectation from your friendships and what is their perception of this too? This can be a good conversation to have with them so that you remain on the same page and hurt and disappointment does not ensure in the future. Remember though, that others hear your words from their own awareness and experiences.

I have friendships that I have been prepared to give without very much in return, owing to my ability to give unconditionally to them for their growth. With these people I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to be able to reflect and see what can be gained by my own self learning as a result. There have been times that I have wondered why any sane person would do this, and be hurt so often when there is little return, other than knowing that by being there, I am providing growth and learning for us both which others may never give.


If you have not had the learning experience of giving and being in community it is harder to give as I have learned that it is usually a learnt behaviour. Coming from many years of boarding school and community experiences I learned early about giving. I was fortunate to have a full family connection when I was very young, where sharing the growth of a child was imperative. With grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends on stand-by at all times, to take over when it was necessary for my parents, gave me different perspectives, which now I recognize as being my great teacher.

The Rewards of a Loving Relationship

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What I have discovered that could help many relationships out there is to constantly build my relationships. This isn't just with my lover although she benefits the most. Because we get to spend so much time together we have found it ever so important to not only relax with each other but to also go on adventures, with and without the kids. We love them ever so much but as a couple we have taken time for just one another, to give each other the kind of love only couples can.

The greatest successes I have seen in other couples is that they are striving to spend as much time together as possible. Life is busy enough without taking time for those that you love most. I urge you the next moment you get to pick up and hug your loved one just stand there for a full minute or two. Do this daily and your relationships with those loved ones will improve dramatically.

I want you to understand. This is not just a metaphysical where only a few feel. There are more and more humans becoming more sensitive to energy. We can use this with one another to improve our relationships. Simply look into eyes and open your feelings. Even at eye sight a person gets a funny little feeling whether you connect with certain people or that you want to stay away from certain people.

Human touch is of great importance. Some people are more sensitive than others. The energies that are exchanged when you are close with another human are quite remarkable. In this day and age there have been such improvements in technology that those energies are beginning to be measured. Now we as a human race can really get a grasp on what energy is like within humans. We are getting closer and closer to being able to measure even that essence that makes humans be here.

A lot of this has to do with vibrations and whether those vibrations are positive or negative. A positive person does not want to be around a negative person. Although there can sometimes be an attraction there as well. Have you ever noticed how same and yet different you are from your closest person?

To improve your relationships, get in tune with each other. The other night I was lying my head on my wife's chest and just listened to her heart beat. While lying there in the quiet our breath became in sync and we just felt one another. It was simply an exchange of energy that I have found vital in relationships

Sunday, October 26, 2014

15 Hollywood Films That Would

Most movie-franchises are big money-churners at the box-office. However, barring a couple of exceptions, most sequels lack the charm of the original film. 'The Matrix', which was followed by the ho-hum 'The Matrix Reloaded' and the downright bad 'The Matrix Revolutions' would be a classic case in point. 'Speed' and 'Speed 2:Cruise Control' highlights the qualitative difference even more clearly. Even popular movie franchises like 'Paranormal Activity' and 'Mission Impossible' have not been uniformly good in terms of the entries in them. Here are some lovely Holly flicks which definitely do not warrant sequels:

1. The Sixth Sense (1999) - Going by his latest works, M. Night Shyamalan is no longer the director that he once was. Telling him to helm a sequel of this beautifully crafted eerie film would be disastrous - while going for another filmmaker would rob the first film of its underlying feel. Also, given the delicious final twist in 'The Sixth Sense', there is hardly any room for a sensible sequel being spawned.

2. The Notebook (2004) - The good thing is, both 'Allie' and 'Noah' die at the end of this endearingly tragic film. However, imaginative as the Hollywood filmmakers are - they might think up a sequel to the film, with the leading duo spreading the magic of their literally 'undying' romance in heaven now. Let alone being worth a watch, even the idea seems an insult to the brilliantly-made Nick Cassavetes flick.

3. Avatar (2009) - The antics of the creatures on Pandora wowed viewers - but that does not mean a repeat dose would be equally enjoyable. Sadly, director James Cameron has already agreed upon making as many as three sequels. With all due respect to Cameron's directorial expertise, it can be safely stated that none of them would have the feel of uniqueness which contributed so much to the first film's success. Another sci-fi alien film can always be made - why dilute the magic of 'Avatar' for it?

4 Inception (2010) - Make no mistake - 'Inception' is a brilliant film, one of the very best of Christopher Nolan's works. Many viewers had problems in keeping up with the 'dreams-within-dreams-within-dreams' scenarios though, and a sequel would only complicate matters further. What's more - even if Leonardo diCaprio reprises his role, he is not likely to bag an Oscar (considering the actor's ill-fate at the awards). Let us catch television reruns of 'Inception' or watch it on DVD - we don't want an unnecessary sequel thrust on us!

5.Clueless (1995) - There have been television shows inspired from 'Clueless' - one of those romantic comedies that have an oven-fresh feel about them. A sequel, if ever it was made, would probably feature a middle-aged 'Cher Horowitz', waddling her way through a forcefully put-together script. Things ended absolutely smoothly in the movie, and we certainly do not want another 'Mean Girls 2'-like experience!

6. Stand By Me (1986) - Probably the most perfect adaptation of a Stephen King novel, this film offers absolutely no scope for a sequel. The mesmerizingly haunting theme music (by Ben King) should be enough reason on its own why no one else should try to tamper with this film. A remake, perhaps, might be worth a watch - but a sequel would be pointless

7.Shaun Of The Dead (2004) - Horror movie sequels generally don't go well, with 'The Grudge' franchise becoming steadily worse, and 'The Ring 2' not being a patch on 'The Ring'. Making a sequel to a zombie-comedy would be an even tougher ask. If indeed a follow-up to 'Shaun Of The Dead' surfaced some day, we would probably have to see 'Liz' and 'Shaun' (probably a lot older) trying to take on a fresh set of undeads. The same gigs and punchlines? Not a chance!

8.The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) - What would they even name the sequel - 'The 40-Year-Old-Virgin 2' which makes no sense!), or 'The 41-Year-Old-Virgin'? Let's just hope that no director takes it to his head to make a follow-up to this funny, entertaining rom-com. Steve Carell was no longer celibate by the end of the 2005-flick, what more can he want?

9.E.T. (1982) - With this film, Steven Spielberg laid down a benchmark in the domain of alien-themed movies in Hollywood - and no one should even dare to try making a sequel. It's okay for Rakesh Roshan to take inspiration from 'E.T.' for his blockbuster 'Koi Mil Gaya', but there won't be any chance of a sequel being able to recreate the magic of this landmark movie. Spielberg knew what he was doing, when he turned down sequel offers!

10.Reservoir Dogs (1992) - Even today, Holly fans absolutely love to see a well-made, violent, gory flick. The recent success of 'Django Unchained' pretty much proves that. However, how can anyone make a sequel to this masterpiece from Tarantino? Almost all the principal characters are bumped off in the movie - ruling out the chances of a regular sequel. A prequel can be made at best, but it won't probably interest too many people.

11.Independence Day (1999) - Now, the idea of a sequel to this 1999 sleeper hit won't be a terribly bad one. The problem is, Will Smith has already done more than his fair share of 'saving the world from doomsday' routine - and he is nowhere near his prime form at present (if you have seen 'After Earth', you would surely agree!). Someone else can, of course, step in - but then it would be a better idea to make an altogether separate film.

12.Up (2009) - Pixar Animation Studios made three 'Toy Story' movies - each of them equally (if not more) enjoyable than its predecessor. The same strategy won't work for 'Up' though. Neither children nor adults would be interested in seeing an even older 'Carl Fredricksen', desperately trying to be even more grumpy than in the first film. It might even occur to some filmmaker to kill off Carl's character and make a sob-story called 'Up 2'! Let's just hope things do not come to such a pass.

13.Children Of Men (1992) - Yet another sci-fi flick that lives on in the minds of movie buffs on account of its novel premise and captivating performances. With Clive Owen's 'Theo' and Julianne Moore's 'Julian' having no chance to feature in a sequel (for dead people do not come back!), carrying on with this dystopian tale would be unnecessary and in all probability, an irritating fare. 'Children Of Men' was a delight to critics and general cinegoers - its magic should not be slurred by a sequel that bombs!

14. Love Actually (2003) - Even in the present age of computers and mobile apps, few people pass up on the chance of watching 'Love Actually' on the TV, for the umpteenth time. Since the movie was about the interlinked stories of a fairly large set of characters, making a direct sequel is, thankfully, out of the question. What the makers can do is make an unrelated, run-of-the-mill rom-com with an ensemble cast, and try to cash in on the popularity of 'Love Actually'. Won't be a good idea at all.

15. Scarface (1983) - One of Al Pacino's finest works definitely does not deserve to be followed up by a lousy sequel. Given that the central character ('Tony Montana') finally dies in the film, it would be next to impossible to bring back the aging Pacino in the sequel. All that might happen is Nicolas Cage (who signs way too many films for his own good) bumbling through the role of an underworld don. Spare us the horror, please