have always held women to be one of God's most charming creatures, and I do
not speak from any narrow
mindedness; I've been examining this for a long time.
It may sound a little like a cheap throw at women in general, but in spite of
anything I can do, they have my side, and they have many sides, how many, only
God knows.
How many times I have escaped and obliterated my tracks, and wanted to call
this creature an 'it' and not a she, but in fear of God, I left it alone. But
this brings to mind the three women I've never talked about, or wrote about in
any of my writings, thus, this is their debut. I don't know why I haven't,
perhaps on my way someplace east or west, north or south, I've missed them, a
kind of blind spot you might say. And I mean no harm in this small brief.
Sharon, 1980 to 1986; Jean, 1986 to 1992; and Kikue, 1996 to 1999.
With all three I wore the fig-leaf suite. Somehow I was obliged to go with
them for extended periods of time (combined, 19-years, take or give one or
two). Had I allowed it to extend beyond those time periods I just mentioned, it
would have introduced what? Death! Which is a pity, on some accounts.
On another note, before I get into the three women, it was my good fortune
to find Rosa, in 1999, my present wife. This
of course is the happiest period come-women period that is, of course, when I
consider the others, admirable as they are or were, and I accept
responsibility, some of the responsibility, for making them otherwise at times,
and for demolishing the relationships, but frankly, I never derived much
pleasure from them mentally, and so I cite them only to prove, there were other
women; I was involved with some fairly important relationships. I will try to
be as honest and bold as I can, that is for a novelist, saying something and
that is saying much.
With all three I liked the plunge, and coolness of their beseeching ways.
Sometimes I think God made women only for scenery, like hippos and whale
watching. When I broke up with them, I really had no justification, but I
chanced the danger of not breaking up. If not more than that, I have not missed
anything, yet Sharon
was the good part of Adam's rib. Jean, she nearly strangled me with her
obsessiveness. And Kikue, at the last moment, was most uncomfortable. It was as
if she had taken a viper pill, and here I was seven-thousand miles away in Tokyo, Japan.
Sharon was fire, fine and noble, educated; she couldn't save
the sick buzzard, but she tried. And Jean, was often, too often the despondent
lioness; I was advised by Denny one day, a friend, when in need, said,
"All I've ever seen you two do is fight, and I've known you for two
years." In essence, he was telling me, I was too close to the forest to
see
